Q. What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A. A shadow...

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the
bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."

Q. What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?
A. Cook-a-doodle-do!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?
A. It wanted to get to the other site !

Haha good job Jumpo, you made my day!

I have the funniest joke you've ever heard!

Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach.
The girl lobster suggested that the boy lobster go get them an ice cream cone.

Having purchased two cones, Mr Lobster made his way back to the beach, deciding on the way to eat his ice cream. By the time he had finished the ice cream, he realized that his girlfriend's had started to melt all down his claw, so he licked it up and ended up eating it too.

When he arrived back at the beach Ms Lobster exclaimed "Where's my ice cream cone?

"Well", he said. "I decided to eat mine, then yours melted so I ate that too."

She was incensed and cried "You shellfish bastard!!"

Q: Are you still in bed?
A: I am not telling you.